Want to Bolster Professional Relationships? Ignore Social Media

Why a face-to-face discussion trumps a tweet.

Unplug! Social media is important, but in-person interactions go a long way toward building meaningful connections.

Of course that got your attention. For a fleeting moment, let's imagine a world without Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and Instagram. It's a predigital age, if you will, in which emails didn’t rule the roost, and fax machines – the type with shiny paper bound to curl after a fax was sent – were heavily relied upon. A world full of typewriter ribbons, Wite-Out and snail mail résumés sent to personnel departments …

OK, now let’s get to the brass tactics of networking! Emails and tweets are fine, but when you want to crank relationships up to several levels deeper and gain more meaningful connections for the long-term, nothing beats old-fashioned face time. Here are five strategies to accomplish this:

1. Go offline. Yes, you can and should still update your profile on LinkedIn and "like" relevant posts on Facebook. But if you’re relying entirely on technology for self-branding and networking, you’re missing the boat. Go offline, and attend industry events and professional mixers. Even if it’s not work-related, get out of the office, car or home and into the gym, place of worship or book club. Dust off those social skills, and get a sense for someone’s body language, energy and joie de vivre. And most importantly, get a sense of your own. Let’s repeat: Go offline.

While technology is excellent in many ways, it’s also a false sense of security regarding interaction. You may have connected with 20 people at the office before noon, only to realize you didn’t actually speak to anyone – including that co-worker in the next cubicle. And when there’s a disagreement about budgets, squabbling over email won’t nip it in the bud. Whether you want to propel relationships, look for a new job or resolve an outstanding issue, nothing beats speaking in-person or on the phone.

2. Take initiative to meet. Let’s say you connect with a new industry professional on Twitter who lives only 30 minutes away and is in the same line of work. You write: “We should grab coffee someday. It would be great to meet in person!”

Guess what? "Someday" is this month! Reach out and have a conversation, even if you’re not looking for a job. Extend that branch, make a new friend and expand upon your budding relationship. Building it can include social media, but in order to solidify a foundation, nothing should replace face time. And if geography is an issue, schedule a call via Skype or phone, so you at least connect a voice to the person’s name and avatar.

3. Make a plan, and commit to it. Whether it’s two coffee meetings per month or one lunch and two phone calls, it’s all good. Set realistic goals, and stick to them. Yes, we’re always busy, but the best time to build relationships and foster them is when we’re not frantically looking for a job. Simply check in to see how someone’s doing and how you can help him or her. Even if it’s reconnecting with a former boss internally, contact him or her to schedule a lunch date. It’s so easy and simple, and yet it's often overlooked.

4. Set a timer. It’s going to be challenging to ignore social media altogether, but you can always set limitations with a timer. Figure out what time of day you will go online, whether it’s a quick break during lunchtime or right before you head out of the office at night. Be consistent and fast. Devouring blogs for 15 minutes is one thing, but two hours and 15 minutes of it is quite another.

5. Evaluate relationships. If you and a former colleague consistently comment on each other’s Facebook updates and send each other articles on Twitter, ask yourself when you last had an actual conversation with that person. Even a text message to say "hello"? You don’t have to stop tweeting articles, but you do need to revive that relationship.

The best way to do so is on the phone or in person. Even if it’s just 15 minutes, check in with him or her. Evaluate your online relationships as they exist – or don't, in many cases – in offline situations. if you crossed paths on the street, would you recognize this person's face but not his or her name? You know what he or she reads and comments on, but do you know what he or she does for a living and how you can tap into his or her network? Be selective. You don’t have to connect with all 200 of your followers (and certainly not 2,000), but even two is a start in the right direction.

Yes, potential employers and you evaluate each other's online profiles. But typically, leaders decide to hire candidates after they met with them in person. They want to find out: Will you fit in with the team, do you have fire in your belly and do you lead by example?

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